3T

Not Scared, Terrified

Jul 29, 2010 || 20:20

I think it's safe to say I'm a pretty lazy person. And safe. Not liking change very much.

I'm 21 for another month or two, and still living with my mom. Lots of people have by that age already gotten their own place, driver's license, full-time job etc. I work part time, still haven't gotten around to finish driving school and yes, still having all my living expenses (water, electricity, food for half of the month) paid by someone else.

I've never been on my own. Having the 'live to work, work to live' sort of thing.

It sounds terrifying. It sounds like something I wouldn't be able to handle. Much like writing a thesis, har.

(yeah, how the fuck am I going to graduate Uni?)

Just recently I was sitting outside with my mom, and she goes
'I hope you get your dream. I hope you get to go to Japan.'
And I smiled and nodded, but I don't know if that really is my dream anymore. I wanted to go to Japan so bad cause, well, sure, I'm interested in the culture and society and I want/need my Japanese to be better if I ever want to that sort of work and you obviously learn best when you have no other option, no other language to speak, but.. right. I like Japan, but any other place would do, too. I wanted to go 'cause it seemed like the easiest choice - a reason to be there, a scholarship for yer living expenses etc. But really, anywhere else would be fine. I just want to see how life is everywhere else. If the grass is greener. More people, more experiences, more.. everything.

Right, this is a rant and not a very good one, but my point is that I'm thinking of trying to make it on my own and it's all very possible really and that's I think what makes it so terrifying. That all I have to do is take that first step. Buy that one-way ticket. Live.

Labels: arubaito, kangae, raifu, shuul